Days Like Today
One step at a time. One breath at a time.
Left, right. In, out.
Movies, books, laughing, television, music, cigarettes, alcohol.
People, people, people.
Wake up. Move about. Go to sleep.
Pray you don’t dream.
and I don’t mean simply that she’ll sit on top and ask for
more than you think you can give, although she’ll do that.
And you will thrust harder and go longer with her than any
somebody should: when you have to work in the morning,
when the neighbors might wonder, when wives and
husbands are waiting for wayward spouses to come home.
Sweating this much for this many days in a row can’t be
healthy, you will think, and you will ask, where is a glass
of unsalted water when I need it? Where is the person I
used to be, and why is the mirror shaking when the piggy
bank is standing still on the dresser? If this isn’t an
earthquake then what kind of freak beauty is it, exactly?
And though you will be more thirsty than Noah was before
the flood, you’ll find you’ve forgotten things you once
needed: how to hold on, for example, and how to swallow.
—Elaina M. Ellis, Change Is a Demanding Lover (via grammatolatry)
10 Reasons Why I Am Thankful For My Mom
(This list could go on forever. I seriously have an amazing mom.)
- She was/is always brutally honest with me. Which, as a chubby girl with glasses and acne, could be hard to take sometimes. But it gave me a solid sense of self-awareness and thick skin.
- While I wish she would have spent more time teaching me about fashion and make-up my mom was more interested in passing on her love for art, books, and good food which helped make me a well-rounded individual. (pun intended)
- She sat with me for hours while I tried to play “Jingle Bells” on the flute for my winter recital in fourth grade. We both knew I was never going to be a proficient flutist but she encouraged me every step of the way. She didn’t let me give up even though it would have been easier for both of us.
- As a kid we never talked about what kind of wedding I would have or my fictional future offspring but we did plan out about a hundred possible careers and what my first house would look like.
- She doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of her.
- There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for her family. She loves us with wild abandon.
- As soon as my little brother was born she had her tubes tied even though my dad wanted more kids. She said it wasn’t his decision because it was her body. This influenced pretty much all my political ideology.
- She has never treated sex or masturbation as dirty or wrong but doesn’t try to share details about these things with me.
- When I came out to her as bi I said I had something important to tell her. When it was over she said “that’s it?”
- She didn’t let my brother and I become her whole world. She never let anyone become the center of her universe. She has lead a life with many incredible things in it and while her kids and husband are a big part of that she never let her role as a mom or wife define who she is as a person.
(Source: icanread)
Sometimes…
You cannot turn a corner with running into a person. A person with their own thoughts and breath and actions and hopes and dreams and fears just vibrating beneath the surface, threatening to overflow and run out of their mouths and into your ears. It is exhausting just thinking about being around anyone. Sometimes I dream of being in a vacuum tight container where I can’t hear the shuffle of anyone else’s feet or the exhale of anyone’s breath. Sometimes even the sound of this ridiculous fan whirring sets me on edge and makes my teeth grind together.
Once upon a dim stage dreary, while I twirled, weak and weary
Under many quaint and curious gaze’s of voyeurs wanting more
While I spun round, nearly falling, suddenly there came a calling
the voice of which was quite appalling, appalling and it screamed out “WHORE”
Tis’ some drunkard, I muttered, screaming out the insult “WHORE”
Only this and nothing more.
(via mysavageheart)
Things better or equal to an orgasm…
This is a short list but thunderstorms are definitely on it. The smell of the rain mixing with the earth, the bright lights striking random patterns into the sky, the vibrations you feel in your legs and arms and chest as the world shutters and shakes. It’s total sensory overload. I could sit here all night watching this.
I’m pretty sure orgasm+thunderstorm=getting sucked into a wormhole and traveling through all of time and space and being spit out on some remote planet in a far away galaxy.
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
—F. Scott Fitzgerald (via babanees)
(via usefulguilt)
